Soooo PTV concert in 14 days im eggcited

rahwrgoesthedinosaur:

Sometimes I look at youtubers like Shane Dawson and Joey Graceffa and feel happiness towards their success.
Other times I see other youtubers, like my all time favorites and it makes me sort of depressed.
I always seem to feel like:
Why don’t I have friends like that?
How come I cant be that…

i feel like that sometimes :/ (the last part)

So I just woke up from a dream that I killed people and I searched it up of what it means…

“Alternatively, the dream represents feelings of being let down or betrayed by someone in your waking life. You are feeling overwhelmed, shocked and disappointed.”

And I posted about this the other night about how I felt and it’s so crazy true. And i looked up murder…

“the dream indicates that you have some repressed aggression or rage at yourself or at someone. Note also that dreams of murder occur frequently during periods of depression… To dream that you are murdered suggests that some important and significant relationship has been severed. You are trying to disconnect yourself from your emotions. The dream may also be about your unused talents.”

Anger/rage at someone? A person that I used to call my close friend betrayed me by using my name to make it seem like I was talking about my other close friend and lost her. Friendships mean a lot to me and me losing a close friend doesn’t really go well with me. Also, I feel rage towards my friend since I knew since I was 9 because he’s such an asshole and treats me l’m nothing so I ended another friendship there. I don’t know, its crazy how one’s mind works.

rahwrgoesthedinosaur replied to your post: Feelings…?

“Any negative thoughts are the opposite of what you really are. You are smart, you’re not worthless and most importantly you are human! It’s like a jump. Before you can jump High (feel happy) you have to prepare yourself by getting low. (upset).”

thank you so much Brandon. That really means a lot. It’s just that lately I’ve been feeling so down and things get to me more than before. The only way I can get away from all my feelings is music but, I just keep thinking about everything and idk… Maybe if I try to get over everything I can be happy.

Thank so much again.

Why am I feeling like this? I should be happy but I constantly get pulled down by others. I don’t like being disappointed, I always have high expectations of people but they let me down. Like, I have no clue how to feel right now but I feel like crap.

I feel stress free when i’m around my best friends, or my close friends at that. They take weight off my shoulders with just them being there. I’ve been writing down how I feel lately on here. It’s the only way I can truly vent. My friend since like 3rd grade is an asshole to me, my friend since 4th grade won’t even speak to me for something they thought I said.

I put up a strong persona but, really, I feel so emotionally stressed. Mad, sad, betrayed, lonely, dumb, worthless, tired, hated, scared, I could go on. I’m just really typing whatever I feel on here. I feel like I’m trapped in a nightmare that I can’t escape. I make excuses to others to seem like I’m okay but, I’m really not.

Hopefully I could pull myself out of these horrible feelings.